Dare to be Truthful
At a young age, we come across the word “truth” in the oh-so-childish game of Truth or Dare. Upon first hearing the name, the question seems simple, but the answer is not. I often remember hearing people lightheartedly choose the truth until they hear the question.
“I think I’d rather dare,” they respond abruptly. So what is it about our society that makes “truth” so difficult to share? What makes us prefer taking on the dare to pull down the pants of a boy we like over admitting that we like him?
If you’re looking for the answers to these questions, I don’t have them.
What I do have, however, is another game: The Repetition Game. This September, I went to Paris to take a course called “Revealing Essence through Relationships." The course was developed by an actor who became a coach, Troy Yorke, based primarily on an acting technique developed by Stanford Meisner. This course changed my perspective on truth.
The premise was simple: speak the truth that you see in the moment. We live in a world full of grays, where we say things like “I’m kind of tired," “I might go home early," and “I sort of feel like eating sushi for dinner.” The Repetion Game allows you to speak in black and white.
Want to play? I’ll speak my truth of the moment, and you will repeat what I say from your truthful point of view.
“I am wearing a black t-shirt” (FYI: I am wearing a black t-shirt). That is my truth. So then you would say, “You are wearing a black t-shirt.” We would continue to repeat these “truths” until the moment changed. For example, “You are smiling.” Now decide, are you? If you are smiling, respond from your truthful point of view, “I am smiling” or “I am not smiling.”.
How difficult is it for you to figure out what you’re feeling? Most people know for certain whether they’re wearing a black or red t-shirt; they also know whether they’re smiling, laughing, crying, or dancing, but for some reason, we rarely know what we feel in the moment.
So now the question is, how can the truth of what we feel be revealed?
If I said to you a bold statement like, “You are angry," how would that make you feel?
If you were actually angry, you would most likely respond by saying, “Yes, I am.” Therefore, the impact of my bold statement is that it allows us to figure out what the truth is. If you aren’t angry, my bold statement still helps you figure out what you are actually feeling. So, if you aren’t angry, what are you?
Are you furious? Enraged? Livid?
I can’t tell you what you feel, but I can make a bold statement. I can speak my truth, and as a result, I can help you figure out yours.
When you make a bold statement to someone, you encourage them to reflect internally, force them to decide whether it is “true” or “not true,” and allow them to speak their truth in response (luckily, there is no dare in this equation, as we all know what people would choose). You give them the opportunity to better understand what they’re feeling. And as a result, you can help them make better choices about how to act next.
The Repetion Game is about speaking your truth in order to reveal even more truth. In order to do this, you need to be bold. This is not only a game of truths but also of bold statements. So say what you see, hear, and feel, and allow the truth to be revealed.
Perhaps if you had gone up to the boy you liked and said, “You like me,” he would have responded, “I like you.” Instead, you chose Dare and pulled down his pants. How different life could be if we spoke the truth!